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Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Malfred Switchclock: Stolen Heart - Part I

    
    
   
MALFRED SWITCHCLOCK PRESENTS. . .
    
The Stolen Heart
   
by
   
Bashaan
   
   
   
Part One
   
     The Roman Catholic Church’s Clock laboriously struck twelve times as Father Dallum led Detective Inspector Jackstone up the freestone stairs of the Medieval Clock Tower by torchlight.  Detective Jackstone always worked at night:  it hid his deep complexion and one-quarter Indian features as well as his sharp eyes and one-quarter Asian features.  Though England was not Germany and the Great Race Wars had yet to begin, Social Mores were still slow to change and thus Jackstone was relegated to the graveyard shift.  Father Dallum also worked at night for he looked like a Nosferatu in human form and thus during the day avoided the Flock he watched over.
     Jackstone’s upturned collar of his overcoat and downturned fedora also shadowed his features -and though it seared his honor to have to patrol the dark recesses of ‘civilized’ society he found that this shadowy persona did have its advantages as it intimidated his quarry and even his colleagues.  He was an American Gangster free to stalk the steamy streets of Lost London.  In similar fashion, Dallum always wore his cape’s hood up as to darken his albino skin and soften his angular, predatory features.  He had the appearance and solitude of a Benedictine Monk as he served in the epicenter of the Parish that imprisoned him.  Jackstone knew Dallum was a monster;  he just didn’t know if Dallum was the monster he would be hunting.
     Father Dallum led the traveling Detective into the Clock Room that featured a working 14th century Astronomical Turret Clock.  The Clock was enhanced by a pendulum in the 17th century and then in the 19th century it was enhanced by a steam-driven Belfry complete with 28 bells totaling 18 tons (twelve quarter ton bells, six half ton bells, four three-quarter ton bells, three one ton bells, two one and a half ton bells, and one three ton bell).  A thirteenth strike pressed down from above, shaking the room, causing both men to cover their ears.
     “That hasn’t happened before.”  Dallum peered into the intricate workings of the gears that led up to the Belfry.
     “I get the feeling I am not wanted up here.”  Jackstone scanned the room, almost ignoring the Mangled Body that leaned against the North Wall.
     “You are welcome in MY Church at any time, Detective.”  Dallum admonished the Spirit of the Clock Tower.

     “Thank you, that kind of acceptance is a rarity for me.”
     “True Religions and Civilizations are inclusive, not exclusive.”
     “No-one comes up here but you?” 
     “I am the only human that regularly comes up here to the Clock Room and Belfry above,” returned Dallum, “though every quarter moon a Mystic Ceremony is held in the Grand Exconjuratory Hall below and every New Moon a Mystic Ceremony is held upon the rooftop Altar high above -the rooftop only being accessible via the outer stairway.”
     “What is the only human supposed to mean?”
     “You know the rumors.”
     “There are many rumors associated with this Church.”
     “The most prevalent rumor is that a vampire makes its home up here.”
     “A lesser rumor is that you yourself are a vampire.”
     “That foul rumor has recently troubled my ear:  I do not do well with the public, but my faith to the Church is manifest:  Father Goulan takes care of the Church Services whilst I take care of the Church’s inner workings as well as aid in Confessions of unique circumstances.”
     “Are there any unique Confessions that I should hear about?”
     “You should hear about them all, but I am bound by God to keep those words between the Confessor, myself and the Holy Ghost.”
     “Very well:  Are there any unique Confessions that are pertinent to this particular case?”
     “No, I do not think so, but have your fellow Detectives troll the sewers, some interesting things may turn up.”
     “I will be glad to send them on that assignment, but back to my case:  Do you go out in the light?”
     “I am an albino;  I do not like the light on my skin:  it will burn, but not in flames.  Come tomorrow during the day if you need more proof -and we will find out if you yourself are indeed safe in the sun as well.”
     “Tomorrow we will have a picnic in the Church Park:  just you, I, and the Holy Ghost;  we will remove our outer garments and we will see which of us will have a Baptism by Fire.”
     “Agreed.  -And what of now?”
     “Have you been a witness to any other vampires?”
     “No, but there have been vampires here in the past, but only a fool would bring his victims to his own abode!”

     “-Or her victims to her own abode.  Jackstone made a modest attempt at social equality.
     “I suppose.”  Dallum said dryly.
     “You speak as if you are a Master in the Killing Field.”
     “We have decided to test my flesh tomorrow, not tonight.”
     “Very well.  What are some of the other rumors?”
     “The Suicide Mistress.  She leapt from the Storm Altar when the husband she was having an affair with returned to his wife.”
     “Perhaps the murdered girl is some sort of Banshee
s Revenge?”  Jackstone finally gave some of his attention to the Body, though he mostly trusted his fellow detectives in handling the forensic side of cases.
     “Indeed the victim is related to the adulterer, but she is not his daughter -only his niece.”
     “This does not absolve the jealous mistress
s spirit -or her living family.”
     “No, but I knew Lady Nerie:  she was young and foolish, but not mean and vindictive. . .  Thus, I believe, she committed suicide and not murder.”
     “Understood, but still suspicious, especially for her relatives.”
     “Yes.
 
     “Yes, indeed.”  Jackstone felt the air above the victim’s empty chest, peered into her lifeless face, then sniffed above her collar before returning his attention to the Father.
     Shall I go on with more Church Deviltries?”  Jackstone detected a twinkle in Dallum’s eye as the Father spoke.
     “Just with the stories associated with this Tower.”  Jackstone narrowed his vision.
     “Well, there is the Clockwork Boy. . .”
     “The Devil’s Automation.”
     “Rejected by all, even his own parents, the handicapped child was patched together by the builder of the Belfry with spare parts.  The Machinist gave the boy the Steam of Life;  he then gave him unto Father Marcus to raise in the Church.  Marcus became the boy’s father and the Clock itself was the boy’s mother.”
     “You speak as if the Clockwork Boy is real.”
     “In all my years I have never seen him.”
     “-But you hear him.”
     “I hear all of the spirits in this Church.”
     “What does the Devil Boy’s spirit tell you?”
     “This Clock Tower was his power source and he could never leave the grounds for more than an hour.  Yes, he started out as a dark child, but the Priests swore there was goodness in him -yet the boy’s loneliness twisted him further, an emptiness that God nor God’s Children could fill.”

     Was his power source:  What happened to the boy?  When did he die?”  Jackstone steered his attention to the workings of the clock, pulsing his hands toward them as if sharing their energy.
     “He never did die;  he just faded away:  it was rumored the Clock Tower absolved his maniacal soul then absorbed his mechanical flesh.”  Dallum too looked at the workings with suspicious eyes.
     “How old would the boy be now, if he were still alive?”  The investigating pair returned their attention to each other.
     “Trust me, the boy is NOT alive, but to answer your question:  the Belfry was started in 1808 and completed 1818:  the boy was created during this time, but it was thought he was born around 1800.”
     “He would be around eighty-eight years old today.
     “Only the mad have claimed to see him in the 1830s and beyond:  his last reputable’ sighting was in 28.
     “I am going to bring in a Spiritualist Savant to talk to you tomorrow.”
     “Very well, but understand the Spirits the Savant believes in and the Spirit I believe in are on Opposing Sides.”
     “Somehow I will filter out the truths amongst the lies.  Until then:  Are there any more stories?”
     “Dozens, hundreds if we include the Sacrifices.”

     “Sacrifices?”
     “We are on the sea’s edge;  the Ancients thought the Kraken had to be fed.”
     “Is the Kraken still being fed?  What of those Mystic Ceremonies’ held upon the Storm Altar?”
     “You will have to ask Deacon Meacham about those;  I do not partake in them, nor does Father Goulan.”
     “Deacon Meacham?”
     “He is a Legend in the Community, but you must know this.”
     “I know this first hand.  He may not have saved my Soul, but he did save my Spirit when I was young and troubled.”
     “Do not fool yourself:  he did save your Soul.”
     “-But what were his plans with my flesh?  I never did come to this Church, despite his insistence:  perhaps my instincts were protecting me from something.”
     “Your Primal Instincts are keeping you in denial of your Faith:  You must listen to the Holy Spirit within.”
     “What spirit do you hear right now?”
     “Hers.”  Father Dallum’s eyes steered Detective Jackstone’s eyes to the worn fresco, upon
the North Wall, of the Virgin Mother as she watched and prayed over the Body beneath her.
     “What is she saying?”
     “She is singing the Siren Song of Justice.”
     “Good Night, Father.”  Jackstone began to walk back down the stairs.
     “Good Night, Detective Inspector.”  Dallum watched him leave from above.


For Part Two Click HERE!  (When Available)

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Malfred Switchclock: Stolen Heart - Intro

    
    
   
MALFRED SWITCHCLOCK PRESENTS. . .
   
The Stolen Heart
   
by
   
Bashaan
   
   
   
Introduction
   
     In the standing room only Theatre Royale of Dreary Lane (temporarily, and some say scandalously, converted into a Motion Picture Playhouse) the Posh Patrons patiently waited for the show to begin.  As the Penned In Patricians’ patience was turning into impatience the live Steam Organ and Tuba, Spring Harpsichord and Violin finally burst to life.  The Clockwork Quartet played the Funeral March Of A Marionette by Charles-Olivier Gounod* as the train-like projector squealed to life, pushing its light in betwixt the Musical Mists to dance upon the projection screen.  A sketch of a well-rounded man faded into view upon a parchment background that was now flickering on the Silver Screen.  (The  fountain pen sketch was a rotund horizontal oval -superimposed by a smaller, rotund vertical oval that was complete with minimalist facial features.)  Upon this ‘stick figure’ (this term is used very loosely) a transparent ‘MALFRED SWITCHCLOCK PRESENTS’ faded into and then out of view.
     In between the movie-train fog his Portly Shadow hovered upon the Silver Screen from the left, filling in, then replacing the minimalist sketch that represented him before the Automaton Chamber Music Group abruptly halted with a final Ornery BOOM from its Zoo Tuba.  In the silence the clanking and hissing of the movie projector churning in the background haunted the ears of the wide-eyed motion picture patrons -Aristocrats and Gentry that were dressed to the Clockwork Nines.  His Blimpish Body followed his Swelled Silhouette onto the Silken Screen;  eventually the Bloated Body took the place of the Overbearing Shadow.  The audience gasped at the Abomination that floated before them as it turned to display its Transmogrified Face.  His bug eyes, peaking through the hanging strands of his sparse, gangly gray hair, were unnaturally bulging;  it was as if some force was trying to push them out of his skull.  His steaming mouth upon his dour pout was unnaturally agape;  it was as if something searingly sour was smoldering in the pit of his Bulbous Belly that he was trying to expel.
     His Jigsaw Body was grotesquely stitched upon the aerostat that kept him afloat and alive.  He was a Frankenstein Zeppelin.  A more apt description would be he was a moored balloon -as the Scientifically Altered Steam that fed, empowered and raised his Bulging Belly was supplied by an unseen, underlying power cart that was pushed by his sexy assistant, Zeppi Hydrogen, whose Voluptuous Shadow could now be seen beguilingly behind him to the left.  A hose, which was supported by a cable that connected the portable engine to his belly button, supplied the Life-Giving Steam.  The Augmented Aristocrat, Lord Malfred Switchclock, spoke with the hollowed tone of a Ghostly Grandfather Clock. . .
     “Greetings, Ladies and Lords, Sirs and Sirens;  I see your eyes are bulging more than mine and your mouths are even more agape.  At least I have an excuse for my repugnant condition:  What is your excuse besides simple boorishness?  With help from my Assistant I shall demonstrate the cause of my garish
affliction. . .  Come hither, my Lovely.”
     His sexy assistant, wearing an unseemly nurse’s outfit, sauntered on screen with a long, lit white candle.  She brought the candle in front of his mouth at a distance;  he blew towards the dancing candle flame and fire blasted onto the projection screen -and then seemingly through the screen and over the crouching crowd’s heads with the aid of stage pyrotechnics.  “God knows the chemical concoction that is being pumped into my billowing belly and iron lungs.  I thought of asking my Demonic Doctors what the miasmic mixture consisted of, but then I thought better of it.  Indeed:  Ignorance is Bliss.
     Oh dear, Ladies and Gentlemen, now I see your eyes are bulging and your mouths are agape for a different reason.  My Girl is Lovely Isn’t she?  Oh how I used to chase her when I was truly alive, perhaps I chased her barbarously so.”  The assistant saunters off screen whence she came.  “Perhaps my current condition is my punishment for my past life’s sins.  Oh, I still chase her, but, as you can probably surmise, it is like a floating tortoise chasing a grounded hare.  Perhaps, if I am as persistent as the tortoise in Aesop’s Fables, my persistence will be duly rewarded, but I won’t hold my breath -not that I can hold my breath.
     Let us get to the original reason you ventured the foul city streets to arrive at this Sanctuary of Civilization:  Our Story.  Tonight, as the Night Fog smothers the gaiety out of London and chokes the life out of another innocent, we bring to you a common crime done in a peculiar fashion.  The Heart symbolizes so much:  Life, Love, Loss, Death:  it is not at all surprising that it is the target of the nefarious, but, almost always, there is a unique reason for it to be impaled, pummeled, gripped or ripped asunder.  In our case, the heart was missing, surgically cut from its body.  The Body itself was seared;  its brain was boiled;  and its fingers and toes were ground to a pulp.  Perhaps even more disturbing than the Body’s disfiguration was that the Body was found in an Ancient Church’s Clock Tower.  Whose body was this?  Who was the Killer?  Our sponsor would have you believe that contacting the spirit realm via their Carbolic Cocaine Elixir would be the key to finding the Killer.  With all do respect to their spokesman:  Sir Arthur Conan Doyle:  that is Spiritualist Nonsense.  Luckily, for all those involved in tonight’s Mystery, Detective Mackey Jackstone knew the Missing Heart was the key. . .”  The projection screen faded to black as Sir Malfred Switchcock’s Undead Life faded from his face. . .

For Part One Click HERE!  (When Available)

Charles-Olivier Gounod* - Real Name:  Charles-Francois Gounod

Saturday, October 6, 2012

JFK's Mars Speech: Khrushchev

John F. Kennedy's Famous Mars Outreach Speech


Part III:  Khrushchev


     Kennedy and the Majestic 12 watched the scene at Area 51 unfold with the entire Western World, but then the feed changed to a foreign broadcast.  The speech by the quickly aging Nikita Khrushchev, which had been simulcast with Kennedy’s own speech, was now at its ending.  Over Khrushchev’s defiant words the purposely menacing English translation blusters:
     “Comrades, fate has dealt us a strange but playable hand.  Yes, we had the enemy of the Working Class on the brink of folding on their final hand, but higher gods have saved the enemy of the people from collapsing like a house of cards.  Indeed there are larger forces at work in the world.  Decadent, arrogant gods from Mars now join the Capitalists’ side, but fear not for the Workers and Warriors of Venus now join our side.  We will finish this War For The People just like we finished Hitler and the Third Reich in the Great Patriotic War.  We will spill Oceans of Blood for Victory and we will bleed Oceans of Blood for our Cause as well.  Can our opponents claim the same?  We were the true victors of World War II, just as we were the true victors of World War III, just as we will be the true victors of World War IV!
     -But Comrades across the globe, we cannot win this fight alone.  Embrace your unearthly Comrades, for even though they are of a different flesh, they are of the same soul.  Fight along side them in this seemingly endless battle for what is Right for the People.  Only together can we win this fight and advance our Communistic Principles not only across this planet, but to the planets and stars above.
     My devilishly handsome rival likes to flaunt his wizardly wards:  his cowboy hat and boots.  Now I will show you a boot I have in my possession.  This is a boot of the First Soldier killed in World War III, not the first Russian Soldier mind you, but THE very First Soldier killed of any country on any side of this unjustified conflict:  He was the very first victim of American Colonial Aggression!  This boot is all that remains of this soldier.  We do not even know his name.  His family will never know his fate.
     In the past I have been quoted as saying ‘WE WILL BURY YOU!’  This was not an allusion to war, but to Social Justice.  I had laid the Gauntlet at Vice President Richard Nixon’s feet;  I had challenged him to a respectful competition between our two divergent economies.  United States of America, your imperialistic nation chose to forgo my friendly challenge.  You fear the Almighty Worker!  Now you will fear the Almighty Warrior that defends him!  Yes, I once said:  ‘WE WILL BURY YOU!’ now I say ‘WE WILL CRUSH YOU!’”  Khrushchev’s right hand pounded the podium before him with the right boot and the podium explosively shattered.
     With the Premier’s closing words and actions;  Khrushchev’s worn, elderly -but enraged face faded off of the feed. . .  The feed then faded into a Venusian Spindle landing in the Siberian Deep.  The cigar-shaped spaceship never actually touched the ground, but hovered above the snow drifting runway.  The portal of the ship opened revealing a menacingly masked and majestically cloaked being from Venus.  It saluted the waiting Soviet General Staff with elegance. . .

The Beginning

Written by Bashaan



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